My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
