Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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