Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
