You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
