Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
try to milk me bitch
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