whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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