worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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