omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
