I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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