Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
