I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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