Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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