Me. At least after what I've been through.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
