I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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