"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I die, sorry about rent.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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