every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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