I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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