I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
