eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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