Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
