And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
