***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
