I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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