She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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