Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
