In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
