Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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