We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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