i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
