conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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