He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
