We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
