we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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