I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
