Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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