I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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