I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
