I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize