garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
