You're my little dorito
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
