I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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