We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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