hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize