i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
