Pappa wants mamma naked
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
