I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
