Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
