now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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