Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
