Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
