then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
