I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
