I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
