as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
