Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
