Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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