ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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